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No, no -- Iran is NOT making nuclear weapons!

ahmadinejad.jpgAppearing on Larry King Live, president of Iran Mahmoud Ahmadinejad protested what he called "horrible mistranslations" of recent comments he made.

The comments in question, from an Associated Press report: "We won't hold talks with anyone about the right of the Iranian nation (to enrich uranium), and no one has the right to retreat, even one iota," Ahmadinejad was quoted as saying by the official Islamic Republic News Agency.

"Our answer to those who are angry about Iran achieving the full nuclear fuel cycle is just one phrase. We say: 'Be angry at us and die of this anger,'" Ahmadinejad said.

According to Ahmadinejad, the blame lies squarely at the feet of junior translator Pakran Abbas. "Abbas is my nephew. I had to give him a job somewhere. His English is choppy, I'll grant that. But this is clearly not what I meant to say! Does that sound like something I'd say? I mean, really. My own wife -- ask her! 'Die of this anger.' Who talks like that?"

Anonymous sources within the Iranian president's cabinet have confirmed Abbas' incompetence, reporting that the nephew was hired under pressure from the president's family.

Ahmadinejad's wife, however, reported that he is given to exactly the kind of comments reported in the news. "Just last week, I asked him to fix the refrigerator. He refused. I insisted we needed it fixed. You know what he said? 'I will not retreat, even one iota. Be angry at me and die of this anger.' And blaming poor Pakran for it. Despicable."

Abbas has left the country and is taking refuge in an undisclosed location.

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